To still my thoughts (in the middle of the night) I composed a little prayer with the agnostic in mind

It’s strange because anxiety has alway had a stranglehold on my brain but in this age of panic I’m calmer than ever. It’s easily explained though with nothing to do but surrender.  I ve had plenty of practice at that over the last few years. Anyway, I rejoined humanity last night as I thought of the children and felt my first fear.

It was the middle of the night so to still my thoughts I composed a little prayer with the agnostic in mind:

Great Mystery, unknowable creator of time and distance 

Whose awesome forces lie but glimpsed to finite senses

I surrender fear to a power that formed matter from void 

That has all things known and all things considered

And answers unseen to questions unknown 

I pray you reveal deep secrets to anxious souls

That forces of creation  forming laughter and love

Soothes the fears of our innocent race

Whose mightiest study knows not the whys 

How cataclysmic terrors reveals greater truth

And in dark times we grow strength within. 

When we rise from this long sleep

Filled with dreams of wretched loss and unending hope 

We stretch tall and strong for a better Earth. 


The sun came out and brought the crowds to the beach forcing the Gardai to close the car park. While some are responding to crisis with a thought to the vulnerable it seems others haven’t grasped the gravity of the situation yet. It’s a shame because if people can’t take it open themselves they will bring martial lockdown on all of us.

I can’t judge though. Not many years ago I would have acted with the same ignorant bravado. I understand where it comes from and in different circumstances ignoring authority can be the right thing. I guess they will have to learn the hard way. It’s a shame others will have to suffer the painful consequences but honestly, has that ever stopped any of us? We all buy the products of child labour, if you are reading this on your phone you certainly did. I feel Covid is gonna teach us a thing or two about the tragic links between actions and consequences we have been sheltered from in the rich Global North. I am staying out of judgement, all I can do is mind my own patch.

It’s clear the fire brigade has made me more responsible. I applied for HSE On Call today. Soldiers to the front and all that. The response has been massive so I don’t expect a call back but  we have no idea of the task facing us yet. It’s easy for me to isolate. I get great support from my baby mamma so if I were to get sick I could quarantine myself easily. I feel a sense of duty to answer the call simply because I can. Anyway, there’s lots of good stuff on Netflix so for tonight it’s over and out.